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Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Changes and Challenges of Being a GRG - Grandparent Raising Grandchildren

Recent government studies indicate that a million American kids are being raised by their grandparents, with no parents present. Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, MD, detail best consolidation loan student trend in their book, "Grandparenting With Love and Logic." The one million statistic doesn't include grandparents who are providing full-time day care for their grandkids, according Sea Devils the authors.

The GRG trend is sweeping the country and spans all races, all ethnicities, all geographic, and all economic levels.

I became a GRG when my twin grandkids lost both parents in separate car crashes. The twins never thought they would live with us. Similarly, we never thought we would be parenting teens again. "No offense, Grandma," my granddaughter said, "but living with you and grandpa will be weird." home owners insurance quotes agreed with her.

All of us are trying to adjust to a new family structure. It isn't easy. Judith L. Coffee PhD, Professor and Gerontology Specialist with the Texas Cooperative Extension, and Janis Thompson, Director of the Texomoa Area Agency on Aging, think society needs to understand the issues that GRGs face. Communities need to gain skills to work with GRGs, they say, and develop an action plan.

My personal action plan includes reading articles about GRGs on the Internet. One issue comes up again and again. GRGs are caught between parenting and grandparenting. Very young children may call their grandmother "mommy" and their grandfather "daddy." This can be confusing for young kids.

Fortunately, my grandkids see me as their grandmother.

While my grandkids question some of the things I do, they are beginning to see the role I play in their lives I will never be the twins' mother. Still, I can be the best possible grandmother and take care of them. How do I see my role?

PROVIDE BALANCED, NUTRITIOUS MEALS. The kids don't like all of the meals I fix and that's OK. My job is to make sure the kids eat right and eat a balanced diet. This includes introducing them to new foods. The kids are busy with school now, but I hope to car insurance prices them how to cook this summer.

SHUTTLE SERVICE FOR TWINS AND FRIENDS. My husband and I take turns with the shuttle service. It includes transportation to and from school, after school activities, and driving them to stores, movies, and friends' homes.

LAUNDRY ASSISTANCE. I'm trying to get the kids to wash their sheets each week and to wash them in hot water. The twins wash their sheets if I remind them and, according to friends, this is normal. One friend said her daughter, a PhD candidate, rarely washes her sheets. Why do I insist on weekly washing? I'm concerned about microscopic dust mites, which can cause asthma. Hot water kills the mites.

SUPPORT ACTIVITIES. Our grandson is in the high school band and we attend his concerts. Our granddaughter is on the gymnastics team and we attend as many meets as possible. "You have to come to parents' night," she insisted. "We give parents flowers." Our granddaughter gave her GRGs flowers.

ACT AS A ROLE MODEL. I'm trying to be a nurturing grandparent. To give the kids a sense of the future, I continue to write and model self-care. This is important, according to the Forever Families Web site. "Grandparents Raising Grandchildren," an article on this site, says GRGs often have poorer health than grandparents who aren't caring for grandkids. "You need to preserve your health to provide the best care for your grandchildren," the article says.

I take my GRG role seriously and joyously. There is nothing I would rather do.

http://www.harriethodgson.com

Harriet Hodgson has been a freelance nonfiction writer for 29 years. She is a member of the Association of Health Care Journalists and the Association for Death Education and Counseling. Her 24th book, "Smiling Through Your Tears: Anticipating Grief," written with Lois Krahn, MD, is available from http://www.amazon.com - A five-star review of the book is posted on Amazon. You will find other reviews on the American Hospice Foundation Web site and the Health Ministries Association Web site.

Please visit Harriet Hodgson's Web site and learn more about this busy author and grandmother.

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